Ok, so I'm standing up at a wedding tomorrow (not the best man) and I thought I could easily come up with something short and funny, but so far I've come up with bubkus. This is basically what I have so far:

"First I'd like to thank *** and *** for letting me be a part of their special day, and I'd also like to thank them for having the courage to give me a microphone. I'm not going to go in to a big long speech, but I would like to say one thing."

That's where I get stumped, I'm looking for a funny quote or saying to go there, doesn't have to be wedding related.

Then I'll end it with the normal contgratulations, how nice the bride/bridesmates look, yadda yadda. Anyone got any ideas?

"First I'd like to thank *** and *** for letting me be a part of their special day, and I'd also like to thank them for having the courage to give me a microphone. I'm not going to go in to a big long speech, but I would like to say one thing... I'm in love with the bride!!"

or my personal favourite:

"First I'd like to thank *** and *** for letting me be a part of their special day, and I'd also like to thank them for having the courage to give me a microphone. I'm not going to go in to a big long speech, but I would like to say one thing. I'm not wearing any pants!!"

Has the bride got any 'bigger' since they first started dating?
You can always use the "...I can remember when *** and *** first went out, oh about fifteen or twenty pounds ago..."
And just wing it from there [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

Gene

One funnything happened at the last wedding I was at. The mc was rambling on, and then broke into:

Now that so and so are getting married, we figured now would be a good time for all Jeff's 'other' girlfriends to return there copy of his house key...

The funniest part was when grandma came up! Outta nowhere she just strolled up and gave him some keys. The place broke out in histerics!

Someone in our family did that exact same bit.

Google for best man speech or wedding toast, you'll find tons of stuff. Including a much more clever variation on the key return.. one of the groomsmen returns a key... oh, my sides hurt just thinking about it.

I illegally downloaded almost all of Fat Whacker's toast.