I AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!


I AM ITALIAN

Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a Camaro.
And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.

I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.

I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!

Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I AM PAKISTANI

Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.

I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full price.
And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist siege.

A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!

Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!


I AM CHINESE!

Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.

And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.

I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,

Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's *** anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa

China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and finally........

I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

IF UR CANADIAN PASS THIS ON!!!

 

MrEastSide will be adding his unique thoughts on this right about........ [img]graemlins/deal4u.gif[/img]

 

I rather be Canadian than any of those other ones.

 

I love it when Canadians sound like American stereotypes eh.

BTW Pinhead thanks for posting this on Car Sound and Performance... you like kicking hornet nests.

Reminds me of the redneck joke; what are a rednecks last words? "Watch this"

 

ya what the hell i though it was funny
personally i don't dislike americans
i don't care for george but thats life
what make me sit back and laugh is when you say something and the only responce you get is well we can whoop your ***
or what would you do if we wern't beside you you's get invaded and kill like fleas
some american get to carried away with the i'll whoop your *** attitude
its sort of like listening to one of those childhood toughys that always like to pretend he was really tough
and made you laugh cause you knew he was all talk

[ December 05, 2003, 08:13 PM: Message edited by: pinhead ]

 

The Lesser of Three Evils


George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to
hell where the Devil is waiting for him. I don't know what to do here, "
says the devil.You're on my list, but I have no room for you. You
definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll
even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened
the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He
kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such
was his fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't
think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room and in it was Tony Blair with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder.I would be in constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" said George.


The devil opened a third door. Inside, George saw Bill Clinton,
lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and
his legs staked in -eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky,
doing what she does best.George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a
while and finally said,

"Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

 

BAH HAHAHAHAHAHA...THATS GREAT! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

 

C'mon...whats with this rash of american bashing jokes of late??

What'd we do to ya'll to be deservin' such a lickin'??


[img]tongue.gif[/img]