Subject: How to make a marriage last.


> My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last;
> Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some
good
> food, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
>
> We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in
Cincinnati.
>
> I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
>
> I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I
> haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
>
> We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
>
> My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the
> carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
>
> She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
>
> Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
> Statistically,100% of all divorces started with marriage. I married "Miss
> Right". I just didn't know her first name was "Always".
>
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
> her.
>
> The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"... I said
> "Dust!"
>
> In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and
> rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has
rested.
>
>

 

man that is great very funny [img]smile.gif[/img]

 

thats hilarious, that sure made me laugh. I should post some jokes I have too, there bloody hilarious. I just didn't want to get my fingers smacked for doing something inapropirate (very bad spelling)

 

Great stuff...it's got to be Henny Youngman.

 

I believe it is actually Rodney Dangerfield.

 

past: feels good to be single, i'm a free man.
present: feels good to be in a relationship where i can get some...
future: looks dark and dreary.

 

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

omg those are funny